My first encounter with homophobia struck close to home. I was around eight years old, and it was my brother. He had been in and out of trouble, and it pissed me off because it disturbed the delicate balance between relative peace and absolute destruction that existed at home. Back then, it was termed “family problems” and we had more than our share. The guidance counselors knew all us kids very well. I am vague on the timing and the details, as happens over time. Also, although nothing was secret in our house and young ears couldn’t be shielded when the fights rose to screaming level, there was a lot that I didn’t fully understand. I knew that my brother had been to rehab after a couple brushes with the law. I knew he went to a halfway house. He was a teenager, far older than me and still my hero. He was always somewhat mythical to me. I don’t remember what our relationship was like when I was that young. I know we are very close now. He’s one of the people I connect most with in the world. Back then though, I mostly draw a blank, his memory is clouded by other images and sounds.
I knew he left school, he didn’t graduate. We were an affluent family, and for some reason, whatever he did was worse than my father being a raging alcoholic. Drinking was more socially acceptable. It turned out my brother was gay. Back then, his behavior was likely due in large part to his need to come to terms with that. My father and he were very close, and it pissed my father off. This was around the time that the AIDS epidemic was coming to light, at least in our small town. My brother was kicked out of the house, at sixteen or seventeen years old. It was a good thing those school counselors had gotten to know us all so well, it gave my brother a place to go. He went to live with his high school guidance counselor. We weren’t allowed to see him, or talk to him. I don’t know for sure how long that went on. A couple of years, at least.
It was a slow process, being able to have him in our lives again. There were hurdles to overcome, and largely, he simply forgave, I think. We’ve never really spoken of it. I think he wants to forget that time, and I don’t blame him.
He went all around the world, learning about himself and about the the world around him. My talented brother speaks several languages. He’s one of the coolest people you’d ever meet, if you were lucky enough to get to know him. He’s charming and people are drawn to him.
It was a different time than it is now. Back then, people weren’t openly gay. My father wasn’t alone in his thinking. He made a lot of mistakes and that one is hard to forgive. The fact that my brother did shows what kind of person he is, what’s in his heart. My father seems to have evolved somewhat, though. My daughter is gay. My dad loves her the same as he does the rest of his grandkids and my daughter has never had to know the fear of “coming out.” She doesn’t have a horrific story to tell, or even a very interesting one. I don’t feel bad taking that away from her though, it should be as much of a non issue as if she were to have told me she was straight. She still faces homophobia when she goes out in public at times. People will give her a hard time for using the women’s restroom. People do a double take. My daughter is gorgeous, so that may be why people stop to stare. It should be the only reason, that they are caught by her beauty. The rest of it, the packaging, so to speak? It should be a non-issue Gender identity, sexual orientation, all of it. It’s truly no one’s business, and it shouldn’t be part of society’s conversation. I consider myself gender fluid. I prefer that others not consider my gender at all. There are so many more interesting things about me.
I started writing M/M mainly because of my brother. I wanted to show people that a strong gay male lead is every bit as hot, if not hotter, than their straight counterparts. I wanted people to love my gay male characters enough to put them in the book boyfriend category. Once I got started, I found that I prefer M/M to M/F, both in reading and in writing. Have you read any good M/M books lately? Leave a comment or drop me a message telling me what you’ve read or if you haven’t, what barriers you think may be causing you not to. I will pick one winner to receive a signed copy of Set Adrift, the first book in my Immortal Isle Series. Runner up will receive an e-book copy.
Drawing will be done within a couple days of the end of Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia. (Work schedule will determine the day, sorry to be vague 🙂 )
Here are the links to the other blogs that are participating, check them out. Many are doing giveaways as well.
DS Kenn 
Hi! Thanks for sharing your story. It’s very touching, and your love for your brother and daughter shines through. That’s the way it should be for everyone. Always.
To answer your question, the last M/M book I’ve read is the French novel “Un Nouveau Rêve” by Alex C. Clarke. She’s working on the English translation now, so you can’t miss that gem 🙂
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Thank you for your kind words! I will have to check out that book as soon as it’s available in English. You are the winner of the print copy, if you can drop me an email at setadrift@outlook.com with your shipping info, I will be glad to send it along!
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Interesting once I started reading MM I prefered it over MF too. I recently did some re-reads Z. Allora’s Dark Angels and Connie Bailey’s Kaji Sukoshi and the shinning one
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Please send me your email and preferred ebook format to setadrift@outlook.com, Danny. You are the ebook winner! Thank you.
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Recently read Beneath the Stain by Amy Lane and loved it.
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Thank you for a touching post. I just read Dirty Kiss by Rhys Ford. I love everything she writes.
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I’ve been reading m/m novels for a few years now and I originally started off with yaoi. I found once I got started it just took over as my preferred genre. At the moment I’m reading Job Hunt by Jackie Keswick.
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thanks for sharing your own experience and being part of this hop
leetee2007(at)hotmail(dot)com
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Thanks for joining; not really
bn100candg at hotmail dot com
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I’m confused. Thanks for joining, not really? Then why bother commenting?
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I have been reading M/M for quite some time now and have only a few no nos or triggers. These apply in all genres though and are not just relegated to gay lit. Love is love!!
sionedkla@gmail.com
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Thank you for sharing this personal story, it means a lot. ❤ xo, avsandersarchive @ gmail
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I’m reading the Lady Blue Crew series by Stormy Glenn and Lynn Hagen. I hardly every read m/f romance any more.
sstrode at scrtc dot com
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Hello Everyone!
Time to announce the winners of the Hop Against Homophobia, Biphobia and Transphobia giveaway. I will also post this in the comments.
Thank you to all of you who took the time to read and comment on my post. This is my first year doing this, and it was a little more difficult than I had anticipated. I merely skimmed the surface on why it’s such an important issue to me, but it’s a start.
Winners, please drop me an email at setadrift@outlook.com.
Have a great day.
DS Kenn
List Randomizer
There were 10 items in your list. Here they are in random order:
Lea Bronsen (Signed copy)
Danny (e-book download)
Timestamp: 2015-05-25 07:25:45 UTC
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